Dear Nobody,Letter #3

"Memories ~ they can sometimes become vague and foggy and there are times when they disappear altogether.
Therefore, because there are many things I don’t want to lose track of, I will record everything in here for the sake of those moments that should not be forgotten." -Haruka's Diary


Dear Nobody,


I have lately been contemplating certain habits. One habit that I am unable to shake is that of obsessively journalling. I do believe I have a fear if forgetting. Some part of me seems to believe that if I forget something,it will be as though that piece of life was never lived. This ridiculous belief is also the reason I am becoming increasingly interested in photography and film making. Both provide the tools to eternally capture a moment and keep it there. And yet...


What is memory really? What makes a moment pause in time. While I can record each detail on paper, or capture a moment on film, I cannot save the way a day smelt or how the felt in a certain moment. And that's what life is, isn't it? It's feeling and smelling and tasting and seeing and hearing. 


One day, some one might find my journals. Perhaps you, darling Nobody. To date, about ten lined notebooks of roughly 192 pages in each. Some written in beautiful penmanship, some scrawled all over in different coloured pens, each filled with notes about my day and those who filled it. That person,however good their imagination, will never live what I have lived. They can read details, hear things from my point of view, but they will never know how I really felt that day.


People can look at my photos, but not see what I saw. No one will really ever understand why I took twenty photos of the same brick in the wall or just what fascinates me about dandelions.


I think, dearest Nobody, what I am trying to tell you in amongst the ramblings of my mind, that the best thing to do is to live each moment so intensely, that even if I were to forget the exact details of the moment, I would always be 100 percent certain that I HAVE indeed lived each moment that has passed. Perhaps it is alright to let some things become foggy and vague in the vault of my min, as long as they were bright and brilliant as they occurred.


So here's to living each moment fully up,to being memorable even if unremembered,to memories,the forgotten and the remembered,the recorded and the unwritten. And to you Dear Nobody,for reading the confused jumble of my mind.


So,till my next letter, I will be here,making memories worth telling you about. And you will be out there,wherever you are,being you. Goodbye Nobody.


Me